Hey. It's me. I just wanted to tell you... I had pancakes this morning. It reminded me of when we were on the run from the Rodriguez brothers back in... 2010? Something like that. Anyway, I remember we ate at a diner just outside Kansas City. You asked the waitress for M&M pancakes. She said, "That's not on the menu." And you like it how you like it, so you said, "You got M&Ms, right? You got pancakes. So you bring them to me and I'll put them in there myself." That's what you did. One by one. So, yeah, I guess I was thinking about that, and... Anyway... I just wanted to say... for me... it's just you. Till the end of the world.
Was he fucking serious? Was he fucking serious? Of all the things that Jesse Custer could have said on Tulip's voicemail he decided to go with some convoluted story about how she'd eaten pancakes one morning and how he'd been reminded of them over his own breakfast.
Yes, Jesse was indeed the stupidest man alive.
Sure, he'd mentioned that he loved her, in their own special code, the same way that they had been doing for years now, but to open all of that up with 'Hey there, Tulip. I was eating some pancakes this morning' just seemed to nullify everything.
Dialing the number back, she pressed the phone to her ear, listening to its ringing on the other end of the line, her foot tapping impatiently on the ground beneath her feet as she stood in the parking lot of some half empty truckstop. The drive back from Albuquerque was too long to make without anything to eat (and without stopping for gas.).
And besides, all of Jesse's pancake talk had made her hungry, hence the bag of fast food that was perched atop of the roof of the vehicle.
"This fuckin' dumbass. He better pick up his damn phone."
It's not like Jesse didn't have stuff going on back in Annville while Tulip was off kidnapping people. He was more or less running and hiding from people. Luckily enough, Sheriff Root wasn't sophisticated enough to think about tracking his phone or anything of the sort. Not that Jesse was actually sophisticated enough to really be thinking about that anyway.
"Not a good time," Jesse answered his phone after a few rings and some non-descript cursing.
Tulip scoffed loudly into the phone, reaching into the bag of fast food and shoving a few fries into her mouth before she began pacing back and forth in front of the vehicle. How was it that even in the middle of bumfuck nowhere did she still have to find a way to do things only at Jesse's convenience? Why she was so in love with this man, she was beginning to start to wonder.
"Not a good time, Jesse? Oh. I'm sorry. You want me to call ya back maybe when you're havin' a tuna fuckin' sandwich or somethin'? Then you can tell me some dumbass story about how one time we had a sandwich in Tucson and now the pickles are remindin' ya of me?"
When the man in the trunk of her car started to make a few louder, muffled sounds, she gave it a threatening kick, fear apparently shooting through Carlos and shutting him up quickly -- if Tulip had been crazy enough to tie him up and shove him into the trunk, he wouldn't put it past her to just murder him somewhere along the way and dump his body in the desert.
"Tulip, it's really not a good time," Jesse said, cursing under his breath. What in the world did she even mean about tuna sandwiches anyway? The woman was damned near impossible to understand some days.
"Where are ya anyway?" he asked, having heard the muffled sounds but couldn't quite catch what exactly they were. It sounded like Tulip was up to no goddamned good if you asked him.
Maybe she should have been a little more concerned about why it wasn't exactly a good time for Jesse. Tulip had been out of Annville for a few days now, and the town's gossip of the Preacher making claims that the Lord almighty himself was going to show up didn't exactly make it to the front page news of anywhere else. She just assumed he was in the middle of some kind of baptism, or wedding ceremony, or whatever other mundane shit that he filled his days with.
"Y'know what, I'm startin' to think that there ain't ever a good time for you. You got like a secretary or somethin'? Maybe she can pencil me in sometime that you got an opening."
Should she tell him? There was a large part of her that was fairly sure that he'd end up giving her some long lecture about how her obsession with revenge was 'wrong' and that they needed to 'let God deal with Carlos'. She'd been leaving it up to God for a while and Carlos wasn't any less alive -- he'd actually been posted up in some comfy little spot there in Albuquerque. She'd about lost all faith in God taking care of things.
"I went for a drive. I wanted a burger." It was half-truth. She had went for a drive, and she had wanted a hamburger. She just happened to travel across the state to get it, and made one tiny pit stop along the way.
"Tulip, please," Jesse sighed, cursing under his breath. Honestly, there wasn't any point explaining to her why it wasn't a good time. Nothing would be a good enough reason for her anyway and he'd just have to accept that she was going to be bitchy at him for the time being.
"Okay. When will you be back? Shit's a bit out of hand here, y'know?"
He hadn't yet formulated where he could hide from the Sheriff at. Shit, being on the run in a small town was kind of hard.
Tulip rolled her eyes hard at Jesse’s words. Maybe she should have cut him a little bit of slack, he was trying to make things right between them, even if it did involve some stupid message about pancakes — and, were she to be truthful, it did make her smile just a little when she had thought about it later. She’d assumed that Jesse had completely forgotten all about their times on the run before, blocked them out in favor of Bible verses and whatever the hell else that Preacher’s thought about. Had she not been right in the middle of trying to tie up Carlos, she might have even picked up the phone and reminisced with him for a little while.
They’d had more than a few good times in Kansas City, kicking ass and taking names.
“Probably five hours or so.” That certainly was a long way out for just a hamburger. Maybe that was a little suspicious, so she continued on, trying to distract Jesse from asking her any more questions about her location, or what she was doing. “What? You got like back-to-back baptisms and you’re all outta holy water? That new girlfriend of yours ain’t picked up your dry cleaning or somethin’?"
Really, how much trouble could Jesse have actually been in? It was Annville, for God’s sake. Hardly anything exciting ever happened there.
"Five hours..." Jesse questioned, his brows raised because what exactly what she up to? He felt a frown tugging at his mouth when she changed the subject.
He sighed loudly because there she went being frustrating. "I ain't got a girlfriend, y'know better than that. And no baptisms.. Shit," he exhaled again, rather loudly whether the sound was annoying in her ear or not.
"I gotta go."
man on the run. No time for frustrating phone calls with a woman definitely up to no good.
Part of her was a little annoyed by the fact that he denied having any girlfriend at all -- which put him near the top of her list of 'people who needed to be stabbed in the eye with a screwdriver.' -- especially after he'd left her such a heartfelt message on her voicemail that could have very well implied otherwise.... Or it could have implied that Jesse had nothing better to do and no one else to talk to while he was eating breakfast that morning.
"Then what the hell are you do--"
Click
"Jesse?" Tulip pulled the phone away from her ear, the screen flashing a 'call ended' message across it and if she had been mad at Jesse Custer before, she was fucking infuriated with him now. He'd hung up on her. He'd hung up. On her. Like they were a pair of teenagers in an argument about whether or not they'd go to the prom with one another. Her fingers worked rapidly over the keypad the moment that she'd pulled it back up on the phone display, dialing Jesse's number right back.
"That fuckin' asshole! Who does he even think he is? Leavin' me some convoluted message about pancakes and then hangin' up on me? Really?" She kicked the trunk of her car hard, Carlos' muffled cries echoing from it. "I swear to God, Carlos, I'm choppin' his balls off and puttin' 'em right next to yours on my mantlepiece. Just you fuckin' wait." She spoke to the man, who likely couldn't even hear her, as she listened to the phone ring on the other end of the line.
He was really tempted to just let it keep ringing but he finally answered it and before Tulip could start yelling at him or even if she was mid sentence.
"Fuck, Tulip, Sheriff Root is after me I'm trying to stay out of jail. I'll talk to you later."
"Listen there, Jesse Custer, you don't just do hangin' up on me! I dunno who the hell you think you are, but I ain't just some floozy that you picked up--" Tulip's words were cut short by Jesse's explanation. Or lack thereof one, since he didn't exactly do much of elaborating on why he should have been thrown in jail. Wasn't he like the one person in that damned town that everybody loved like he was Jesus Christ himself?
"Whatever. I'm gonna be in town in a few hours and your ass better get to explainin' what the hell it is that you're talking about. You got me?"
Now it was Tulip's turn to hang up on him, and she did, the line going dead with a resounding click.
"You better make room, Carlos, you might end up havin' a friend in there with you soon enough."
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timeasmymeasure
Cause pancakes
Date: 2016-08-02 10:41 pm (UTC)Hey. It's me. I just wanted to tell you... I had pancakes this morning. It reminded me of when we were on the run from the Rodriguez brothers back in... 2010? Something like that. Anyway, I remember we ate at a diner just outside Kansas City. You asked the waitress for M&M pancakes. She said, "That's not on the menu." And you like it how you like it, so you said, "You got M&Ms, right? You got pancakes. So you bring them to me and I'll put them in there myself." That's what you did. One by one. So, yeah, I guess I was thinking about that, and... Anyway... I just wanted to say... for me... it's just you. Till the end of the world.
Was he fucking serious? Was he fucking serious? Of all the things that Jesse Custer could have said on Tulip's voicemail he decided to go with some convoluted story about how she'd eaten pancakes one morning and how he'd been reminded of them over his own breakfast.
Yes, Jesse was indeed the stupidest man alive.
Sure, he'd mentioned that he loved her, in their own special code, the same way that they had been doing for years now, but to open all of that up with 'Hey there, Tulip. I was eating some pancakes this morning' just seemed to nullify everything.
Dialing the number back, she pressed the phone to her ear, listening to its ringing on the other end of the line, her foot tapping impatiently on the ground beneath her feet as she stood in the parking lot of some half empty truckstop. The drive back from Albuquerque was too long to make without anything to eat (and without stopping for gas.).
And besides, all of Jesse's pancake talk had made her hungry, hence the bag of fast food that was perched atop of the roof of the vehicle.
"This fuckin' dumbass. He better pick up his damn phone."
no subject
Date: 2016-08-03 01:53 am (UTC)"Not a good time," Jesse answered his phone after a few rings and some non-descript cursing.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-03 07:24 am (UTC)Tulip scoffed loudly into the phone, reaching into the bag of fast food and shoving a few fries into her mouth before she began pacing back and forth in front of the vehicle. How was it that even in the middle of bumfuck nowhere did she still have to find a way to do things only at Jesse's convenience? Why she was so in love with this man, she was beginning to start to wonder.
"Not a good time, Jesse? Oh. I'm sorry. You want me to call ya back maybe when you're havin' a tuna fuckin' sandwich or somethin'? Then you can tell me some dumbass story about how one time we had a sandwich in Tucson and now the pickles are remindin' ya of me?"
When the man in the trunk of her car started to make a few louder, muffled sounds, she gave it a threatening kick, fear apparently shooting through Carlos and shutting him up quickly -- if Tulip had been crazy enough to tie him up and shove him into the trunk, he wouldn't put it past her to just murder him somewhere along the way and dump his body in the desert.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-05 12:46 am (UTC)"Where are ya anyway?" he asked, having heard the muffled sounds but couldn't quite catch what exactly they were. It sounded like Tulip was up to no goddamned good if you asked him.
But what was new?
no subject
Date: 2016-08-05 02:32 am (UTC)"Y'know what, I'm startin' to think that there ain't ever a good time for you. You got like a secretary or somethin'? Maybe she can pencil me in sometime that you got an opening."
Should she tell him? There was a large part of her that was fairly sure that he'd end up giving her some long lecture about how her obsession with revenge was 'wrong' and that they needed to 'let God deal with Carlos'. She'd been leaving it up to God for a while and Carlos wasn't any less alive -- he'd actually been posted up in some comfy little spot there in Albuquerque. She'd about lost all faith in God taking care of things.
"I went for a drive. I wanted a burger." It was half-truth. She had went for a drive, and she had wanted a hamburger. She just happened to travel across the state to get it, and made one tiny pit stop along the way.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-10 07:54 pm (UTC)"Okay. When will you be back? Shit's a bit out of hand here, y'know?"
He hadn't yet formulated where he could hide from the Sheriff at. Shit, being on the run in a small town was kind of hard.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-10 09:40 pm (UTC)They’d had more than a few good times in Kansas City, kicking ass and taking names.
“Probably five hours or so.” That certainly was a long way out for just a hamburger. Maybe that was a little suspicious, so she continued on, trying to distract Jesse from asking her any more questions about her location, or what she was doing. “What? You got like back-to-back baptisms and you’re all outta holy water? That new girlfriend of yours ain’t picked up your dry cleaning or somethin’?"
Really, how much trouble could Jesse have actually been in? It was Annville, for God’s sake. Hardly anything exciting ever happened there.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-13 09:44 pm (UTC)He sighed loudly because there she went being frustrating. "I ain't got a girlfriend, y'know better than that. And no baptisms.. Shit," he exhaled again, rather loudly whether the sound was annoying in her ear or not.
"I gotta go."
man on the run. No time for frustrating phone calls with a woman definitely up to no good.
click.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-14 06:45 am (UTC)"Then what the hell are you do--"
Click
"Jesse?" Tulip pulled the phone away from her ear, the screen flashing a 'call ended' message across it and if she had been mad at Jesse Custer before, she was fucking infuriated with him now. He'd hung up on her. He'd hung up. On her. Like they were a pair of teenagers in an argument about whether or not they'd go to the prom with one another. Her fingers worked rapidly over the keypad the moment that she'd pulled it back up on the phone display, dialing Jesse's number right back.
"That fuckin' asshole! Who does he even think he is? Leavin' me some convoluted message about pancakes and then hangin' up on me? Really?" She kicked the trunk of her car hard, Carlos' muffled cries echoing from it. "I swear to God, Carlos, I'm choppin' his balls off and puttin' 'em right next to yours on my mantlepiece. Just you fuckin' wait." She spoke to the man, who likely couldn't even hear her, as she listened to the phone ring on the other end of the line.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-14 06:48 am (UTC)"Fuck, Tulip, Sheriff Root is after me I'm trying to stay out of jail. I'll talk to you later."
no subject
Date: 2016-08-15 11:38 pm (UTC)"Whatever. I'm gonna be in town in a few hours and your ass better get to explainin' what the hell it is that you're talking about. You got me?"
Now it was Tulip's turn to hang up on him, and she did, the line going dead with a resounding click.
"You better make room, Carlos, you might end up havin' a friend in there with you soon enough."